A letter to the GNP Fans
To the GNP Fans:
As many of you know, I am contemplating one of the biggest decisions of my tailgating career, whether I should retire or continue playing. Like all athletes, I knew this day would come when I would have to stand before that proverbial fork in the road. But I must admit that it’s not until you’re actually staring at the two diverging paths do you really grasp how impactful and painful this decision can be. I was hoping to make this personal decision quietly and without much hoopla, but given the recent torrent of erroneous media reports and totally inaccurate assumptions, I feel that I have to come forward and publicly set the record straight with those for whom I have toiled the last two years–you fans.
This off season has been one of the best in my professional career. I have worked extremely hard to make sure that I’m completely out of shape and ready to tackle the rigors of another physical season. I am proud to say that at my body feels years younger and ready to compete at the highest level. I love training and preparation, and this off season has made it clear to me that this is one aspect of the game that I will miss tremendously when I decide to one day hang up the funnel. I went into this off season with every intention of entering a 3rd season with the GNP, the only team I’ve ever played for during my career. But I am human, and despite the images of me grimacing and tackling opposing ribs and bratwursts I have to face my mortality like anyone else. When an athlete like myself who does what I do for a living starts having doubts, then it’s time to take a step back and seriously consider my future. Anyone who plays in the GNP with doubts or second guessing is not only putting themselves at risk, but their teammates also. I will never do that.
What ’s been most disappointing has been all of this nonsense that I’m holding out for a new Weber grill. The truth is that tailgating has been very good to me and I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by advisors who have ensured that my family and I will live comfortably for the rest of my life.You deserve to know what’s really going on. My agent met with the GNP earlier in the year and discussed many things including my contract.The Weber grill is not the reason that I have not reported to training camp and it will not be a factor for my return. This has already been communicated to the GNPand while the reports may indicate a”hard line” taken by the team , it is not necessary, as this issue had been decided well before July
Despite what some might believe there are those of us who make decisions that have nothing to do with Weber grills or E-Z up tents. Many athletes ask themselves daily if they are emotionally and psychologically at the level where they can compete at the highest level for twenty-four weeks. For them also it isn’t about the money, rather a serious athlete asking serious questions about his future. All that I ask, after two seasons,is that you afford me the patience so that I might arrive at my decision on my own terms.
As GM Kork has said, the GNP are not going to hold a spot for me. I completely understand his stance as tailgating is a business and he must do what is in the best interest of the team. I know that I am only one player. I want to express my thanks to the GNP for their extremely kind words about my career as a Giant Nut to date. I have been proud to wear bootleg GNP T-Shirts thoughout my professional career.You have my word that I will try to make the correct decision as quickly as possible. If I decide to play, I hope that you will continue to cheer me on like you have for all of these years. If I decide to hang up the cleats, then I will bid you all a tremendous thank you for the privilege to play a game that has blessed me in so many ways and created memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. I humbly thank you for your understanding and being the best fans in the world.
Frank
August 7th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
1) Hilarious, unbelievable
2) we are all on the edge of our seats awaiting the decision. we’re scouring the waiver wire right now but the outlook isnt so good.
August 7th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Daily news is reporting that Frank the Tank’s agent has met with Kork and PJ about the situation and that Frank is indeed “very serious” about his potential retirement. His agent has informed GNP officials that in addition, Frank has put Scotty the Ninja into protective custody so as to shield him from the scorn of the rabid fans.
The GNP’s own Danimal has left messages for Frank’s camp and those messages have yet to be returned. Witnesses have reported seeing little Nicky wearing Jets pajamas to bed the last week but at this time those are unconfirmed. What we do know is that the situation is dire.
Other reports place Pops staying at Poconos raceway while his son(s) reach this difficult decision. He is avoiding media attention by locking himself in a swanky motel with his laptop and NFL network running 24/7. Brother Chris is always MIA so his absence is not troubling, say friends of the family.
At this time TEAM GNP is preparing a press release. Unnamed sources state they have adopted Danimal into GNP West and are prepared to deal with the possibility that GNP East will be showing up 5 minutes before game time, egg sandwiches and coffee’s in hand. Also, the owners of the annual Giants Lobster Fest have announced they have reserved a place at this years swanky gathering for the brothers, should they in fact all retire.
Commenting on news of the letter, one tailgater who wished to remain anonymous told us:
“I think he thought he needed to (write that letter) for the fans because people have been ripping him and treated him, I feel, a little bit unfairly,” said the tailgater yesterday after stocking up on Beer at the distributor.
“This is a guy that for 4 years has poured his heart out for this organization and this sport. Personally, knowing Frank, I don’t think this had anything to do about money. It was kind of wrong for people to say that about him.”
Mr. Anonymous said nothing surprised him when he read Frank’s 752-word e-mail, which was sent to reporters late Sunday night. He said he has talked to Frank often during the 11-day holdout, and the subject of money never came up.
“(The letter) was pretty much the same things he’s told me,” Mr. Tailgater said. “And like I told him, tailgating is all about your heart. If his heart ain’t fully in it or his mind ain’t fully in it, then it’s not something you want to do. I can fully understand that and we support Frank.
“He just wanted to reach out to the fans because they can’t have a chance to speak to him.
“The only way the fans get information is through the media. So Frank just felt that he needed to get his point across and let fans know, ‘Everything you’re hearing wasn’t true.’ As tailgaters we knew that.”
The GNP have yet to give the 35-year-old a deadline or publicly say when they need to have his decision. But they are getting closer to a point where they’ll have to begin making plans to move on without him.
“We’re not there yet,” Kork said. “But there may be (a point).”
As for Frank’s letter, Kork said “it’s pretty consistent with what my conversation with him was. Obviously nothing has changed and we still would like Frank to be in here, but Frank has to be in that right frame of mind and want to be here and want to be a part of our tailgate.”
The anonymous tailgater believes Frank eventually will decide he wants to be part of the tailgate again.
One last unconfirmed report has GNP West in the planning sessions of a bake sale to get BiLLMaTiC back into the fold, should retirement be the decision that Frank makes.
We’ll have more as it develops.
August 7th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
AP Wire.
********* BREAKING NEWS *************
In a not so subtle message that the team plans to move forward with or without GNP EAST, word out of camp today is that the official GNP website (www.giantnutsproject.com) has stricken the names of the 4 holdouts until they report to camp.
Official statement from the team:
“We have and continue to support our brothers in GNP EAST while they make this difficult decision. Frank, Scott, POPS and, to a lesser extent, Chris have all contributed tremendously to the Giant Nuts Project tailgate over the past few years. We understand the toll that tailgating takes on not only the body, but the mind, and have seen it break stronger men into whining little girls. We welcome EAST back to camp but have no choice but to send a strong message that they are expected and will be penalized by having to spend one lonely night alone with the Juiceman at his bar each week that they miss preseason camp. We expect that they will be at camp for the start of the regular season but want to ensure our loyal fans that we are prepared to move forward without them should they decide to hang up the funnels.”
In fact, enterprising fans may be able to catch Dan, Juice and Kork at a NJ Home Depot this Saturday night after the game, looking for supplies to construct the largest flag pole the Meadowlands has ever seen.
More on this breaking story as it develops.
August 7th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Frank sticks to defensive stance
Source says Tailgater feels ‘betrayed’ by Web Site Deletion
Wednesday, August 8th 2007, 4:00 AM
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ALBANY - Frank won’t make a quick decision on his future, despite fines and threats of the team “moving on” without him, according to a source close to the GNP East founder. So far, all the GNP hard-line stance has done is leave Frank feeling disrespected and betrayed.
“How could he not feel betrayed?” said one source who spoke with Frank yesterday. “After spending 4 years, after being a loyal and dedicated player to an organization, and now that he is considering retirement, the most difficult decision in his career, instead of giving him space to make this decision, they cross his name off the website like he never helped build the organization as it is today?
“I am really sad that this situation is being portrayed the way it is.”
Another source, who speaks with Frank regularly, agreed with that sentiment but added that the seven-time Pro Bowler has felt “disrespected” by the GNP ever since they signed Danimal to a long term contract. Those feelings have grown even stronger in the past week, the source said, as he has heard some “tough talk” from GNP GM Kork and read reports that the GNP believe his holdout is driven by money.
In fact, that source said the 35-year-old Frank let Kork know how he felt when the two finally spoke by phone on Monday night. According to the source, Frank was particularly upset by Kork’s comments in Monday’s Daily News, in which the GM said, “We can party without him.”
“He had some things he needed to talk to me about and I had some things that I needed to talk to him about,” Kork said after the GNP morning practice at the University at Albany. “I won’t share any personal information that we shared with each other.”
Still, there is no deadline from either side, but the GNP, as promised, are exploring other options. Frank’s arch-enemy, Frankie “shorts” from Brooklyn, was due in New York last night and is scheduled to take a funneling test and BBQ try out and meet with team officials today. One team source said the GNP are prepared to discuss a contract if his injured left shoulder is OK. His shoulder was injured in game 2 last year while trying to set up an 80 foot circus tent in a thunderstorm at Giants Stadium.
Frankie “Shorts” told the Bensonhurst Times yesterday that Dr. Tony Monero, an orthopedic surgeon, examined his shoulder last weekend and pronounced it “100%.”
If “Shorts” is signed, Frank could lose out. Asked if Frank could end up without a roster spot, Kork conceded “it’s always a possibility.” Still, the GM stressed his first choice is to have Frank The Tank back.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
GNP reacts to ‘rogue’ actions on website
GM says website deletion ‘a lone act of terrorism’
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LONG ISLAND - The Giant Nuts Project organization has apologized to founding member and current tailgating holdout ‘Frank The Tank’. GM Kork held a brief press conference outside of GNP Media Headquarters, located on Long Island, NY.
“We’d like to formally and publicly apologize to Frank The Tank and the rest of GNP East for the website malfunction giantnutsproject.com experienced earlier this afternoon. Apparently, a member of our web team, saddened or angered by Franks current holdout ’struckout’ the names of GNP East on our website.”
“Again, I’d like to apologize to the affected parties and ensure everyone that this was a lone act of web terrorism - perpetrated by a now former employee. In no way does management or any member of this organization condone the actions taken this afternoon.”
GM Kork made sure to emphasize that the employee who made the changes has not only been fired but fired in a punishing way. “He was a good web developer for us and we truly believe that his act of madness was brought on by his sincere love of Frank. He informed us he was heart-broken at seeing his fallen hero now holding out in the sport we all love - tailgating.”, the GM said. “We solved the problem in the only way that justice is served in those brutal parking lots… Rochambeau.”.
Rochambeau, of course, referring to the age old method of settling problems whereby both parties line up facing each other. The defendant kicked the rep from GNP, a large mountain of a man named Rockhead, square in the nuts as hard as he could. In turn, according to the rules of Rochambeau, Rockhead kicked the defendant… square in the nuts… as hard as he could. This continued for 18 minutes until the defendant fell over, writhing in pain. At that point, GM Kork stepped in and declared Rockhead winner of the Rochambeau… ultimately meaning that the defendant was to be fired.
“We were pleased with the outcome. There cannot be any disrespecting of any members particularly founders of the club.”, the GM said. “We knew we had a good chance in the Rochambeau when we selected Rockhead to represent us”. The GM continued.
“Thank you for coming and again, our deepest apologizes to Frank and Family.” The conference quickly ended. No word on a reaction from Frank The Tank or what effect this may have on an already tense situation at Camp GNP in Albany. All this writer knows is that the fans are the ones suffering. No one wants a repeat of the BiLLMaTiC situation which loomed over the organization all last year.
It’s 10pm… do you know where your kids are?
August 9th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
anyone hear any update on frank the tank? I know some people who know some other people who told them that the potential of luring BiLLMaTiC out of retirement are slim to none. Hes signed to a long term lucrative contract with Dunkin Donuts and World of Warcraft, and who can blame him for dropping those to return to the game. The physical toll that tailgating has on ones body isnt worth giving up those contracts in his eyes.
However ive heard reports of Danimal coming to terms to a long term deal with GNP West, mostly a back loaded incentive laden deal. Have you guys heard anything?
August 9th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Six-year extension includes $15 million guaranteed
Updated: August 8th, 2007 11:57 AM ET
Christmas came early for GNP’s Danimal
Friday night, ESPN.com learned Danimal had followed up the first tailgating Pro Bowl selection of his career earlier this week by agreeing to a landmark six-year contract extension with GNP.
The extension, which runs through the 2013 season, totals just under $41 million and includes $15 million in guarantees. The three-year veteran, who is second in the league in consecutive funnels with 12½, will make about $21 million in the first three years of the contract.
The deal, negotiated by the Manhattan-based agency Sportstars — where Brian Mackler, Alan Herman, James Ivler and Jason Chayut are the principal representatives — will be officially executed in the next few days.
The guaranteed part of the contract is believed to be the largest ever awarded to a three-year veteran.
“The GNP have always demonstrated a proactive stance with their talented, young players and this is the latest example of their approach,” said Mackler, who was the point man in negotiations, but declined to discuss specifics of the contract. “This moves Danimal into a category with the most elite tailgaters in the game, and that’s saying something for a player who hasn’t even completed his second season yet.”
Danimal has spent much of his 2006 campaign destroying opposing funnelers, building solid fires with evenly distributed heat,mastering the art of using Gorilla tape and even cooking his cell phone when needed.
Danimal, 25, has emerged over the last season as one of the NFL’s premier young tailgaters. His newfound stardom was punctuated on Wednesday as he joined GNP teammate Captain PJ as two of the three tailgaters chosen to represent the NFC in the annual Pro Bowl game.
A former Richmond standout, Danimal moved into the starting lineup at the beginning of last season, when starter Billmatic couldn’t resist the lure of mouse ears and joined Mickey in his crusade to save the world. He has started every game since.
GNP general manager Kork felt so strongly about Danimal’s potential that he refused to include him in the trade package the GNP sent to a rival tailgate to obtain the rights to a folding table and 4 bags of match light. In training camp this summer, Kork reiterated to ESPN.com that he would have allowed that deal to collapse rather than send Danimal, where the rival tailgate wanted to utilize him as a hybrid funneler/designated driver.
Born in London to parents of Nigerian descent, Danimal moved to Staten Island as a child and fell in love with funneling and football.
He was chosen by the GNPin the second round of the 2005 draft, the 56th player taken, and signed a one year, $2.53 million contract with a $1.165 million signing bonus. Without the extension, that four-year deal would have expired following the 2006 season.
August 9th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Haha… still, we wait with baited breath for our superstar - Frank The Tank to reach a decision on his future.
August 18th, 2007 at 12:18 am
you guys are completely rediculous and insanely entertaining.